No, it was not pain I felt. It was calmness and belonging. There is no way for me to describe this feeling of simply knowing. This was a different kind of waking up. I simply knew nothing would ever be the same and at the same time I knew amazing things are coming. I had no idea how, but I just knew. 

I knew my career in healthcare was now over. For over 16 years I dedicated my life to creating programs that drive behavioral change, in order to improve health of individuals, groups, companies, states, nations. I was very successful at what I did. I created worksite wellness programs, chronic disease management programs, programs for future parents, programs promoting health and wellbeing, healthy lifestyle programs, behavioral health programs. I loved what I did, I had fun, after all, I was an executive for a major insurance company and all of Norther California was my responsibility. That was now, no more.

As these life changing shifts always come with 3 major "wake up" events, I was also going through a divorce. 14 years we were together. That was now, no more. 

My whole world, everything I have known, everything I have been for a very long time, everything I have done, now was gone. Still, I was alive. I was here! I was awake. I was wide awake! 

I remembered the kid I was in the 90s growing up in Sarajevo. A soul that survived the longest siege in the history of modern warfare. Young adult, forced to grow up really fast surviving snipers and shelling on a daily basis. A refugee in my own home town, as my home was in the occupied territory. 

I am a person that lived through years of no electricity, no gas, no water, no food, all in an active war zone. I just added a divorce, abrupt ending of a successful career and a motorcycle accident where I almost lost my life, again, to my life story. What am I going to add to the story next?

Questions that came to my mind were: Who am I? Who do I want to be? What will I do to get there? How can I give back again? 

How will I help myself and how will I help others? How do I realign with my CORE being? How do I wake up the amazing, beautiful, creative child inside of me and create a new world? Better world for myself and everyone else that rewards me with sharing their time and space with me. I felt it in my soul, big things are coming, change that I will drive and change that will be delivered through me is coming. 

It all started with me. Within me. Internally. I knew this was an inside job. A better world is created inside out. It all started with choosing the questions I wanted answered. I wanted to understand, “Now what?” I understood I cannot do things in order to become something, in order to be something. I felt it in my CORE I have to first BE and from this beautiful place of being, anything I do would be simply amazing and it would be ME. I knew I had to learn. I knew I had to, most importantly, evaluate my beliefs, my values, my habits and create new ones. I started walking, I started listening, observing and learning. This is where the fun of creation begun for me. I slowed down and I reduced the noise. I wanted to learn. I decided to listen. I was ready to teach.

So, I wrote a children's book, became a published author, an International Best Seller. I became a strategic interventionist, a graduate of Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes school and a certified life coach, a student of some great mentors and a teacher to some amazing souls. I became a HUMAN NEEDS MASTER. Most importantly joyful, happy, healthy, curious, loving, kind soul, I always was, contributing beyond myself, here to remind people to slow down, to reduce the noise, to listen.